Teaching a foreigner how to use a Japanese loo is harder than showing a Grandma how to send a text message, with toilet time in Tokyo causing visitors more concern than eating raw fish wrapped in seaweed. Super-high-tech-sit-down-loo’s equipped with deodorising fans and gun shaped bottom brush’s make taking a leak post green tea more complicated than operating a control panel on an aeroplane. With overwhelming choice it’s hard to decide how you’d like your toilet experience. To warm the seat or not to warm the seat, that IS the question. And what about that button on the left that makes a flushing sound to disguise any embarrassing noises? Low or high pitched? Owner of Japanese toilet company ‘Toto’, Yojiro Watanabe has recently defended his countries hedonistic fascination with fancy washrooms claiming that people like himself have no personal space in their lives and that “the toilet is the only space where privacy is guaranteed”.  If you like the idea of ‘doing your business’ in a cubicle resembling a rocket ship I recommend sculling a litre of soy sauce and high tailing it to Japan this Christmas!!!