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emily Naismith

The saddest thing I have ever seen on TV is when Doctor Harry's dog, Rosie, died. I cried for a week.

The best thing I have ever seen on TV is Bouncer the dog's wedding in a dream sequence on Neighbours.

Needless to say I don't really watch that much TV.

However I am addicted to *insert latest internet craze here* and Tic Tocs.

I have a radio show that you can listen to in Melbourne on Monday nights between 10pm and 11pm called Dirty Sexy Music.

And I also post some interesting-ish things on my personal blog; I Can't Smell Anything ---> NOT JOKING, I actually can't smell anything (except occasionally mandarins).

Apart from that I'm about to finish my Media degree at RMIT this year which means I'm fully qualified in Media. Whatever the hell that means. I'm interested in interactive media and online publishing but apart from all the geeky stuff I love pretending I know how to DJ, fixating on cute dogs whilst driving and anything do to with food - especially if it's free or packaged attractively.

Posts by emily Naismith

Say no to concrete and yes to Lego

Posted 19th Aug 2008
Filed under: Culture

Ah, Lego. The lazy man's brick and mortar. I'm proposing that builders use Lego to construct everything from now on. The world would be a much better place. Not enough room on the train? Build another carriage. Housemate ate all your Tic Tocs? Build a fort in your backyard with no windows or doors and only dry biscuits inside and keep that pesky person inside until they realise Tic Tocs are worth their weight in gold. Boyfriend thinks he looks good with a red beard? Switch his head for someone else’s sans fire truck whiskers. I could clearly go on forever. The Lego brick is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year. I suggest instead of paying a labourer the next time you need renovations done - do it yourself with Lego. You'll save money and you'll have the craziest coloured bathroom this side of the seventies.

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Straight to the pool room

Posted 12th Aug 2008
Filed under: Diaries

I received a certificate in the mail yesterday that is probably my greatest achievement yet. Actually, make that ever. It beats “participation” ribbons in school athletics and “encouragement” awards for sticking with piano lessons through the hard times of destroying that song that ice cream trucks play. I got an award for turning twenty-one. Pretty sweet. I didn’t even have to do anything or even give anything my best shot and fail miserably. Somehow my local member of council knew and congratulated me on my mean feat. I know probably hundreds of other people turned 21 on that same day and they all got letters too… but hey, a certificate is a certificate. And when you are used to your family celebrating the fact you finished races without passing out, you cling to what you got.

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She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels

Posted 5th Aug 2008
Filed under: Film

So Mean Girls is soon going to become a video game. I’m guessing you’ll play Lindsay Lohan pre-drug fiend and earn points by solving Mathletes equations and wearing pink on Wednesdays. Apparently the fact that the game is being developed in conjunction with Legacy Interactive means it will be a cheap and disposable with a safe and boring plot line. I can’t help but think they should take some inspiration from Grand Theft Auto and let you drive around in a school bus running down Regina George and earn money by selling Calteen bars on street corners. Who's with me? Regular moms might not be down with it, but I'm sure "cool moms" would.

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Sex education 2.0

Posted 29th Jul 2008
Filed under: Issues

Apparently watching teen soaps like The O.C. and Gossip Girl with your parents is a better way of getting sex education than those cartoon books Where Did I Come From? and What's Happening To Me? It's pretty much what kids around the world have always known, but now there's the official report to prove it. A British social service agency says that the best way to get the awkward sex conversations flowing with your kids is to sit down and watch a nice "steamy" ep of The O.C. with them. No one has used the word "steamy" since Marcia invited all friends around for an all-girl sleepover in the original Brady Bunch episodes, but I guess I'd chose TV over pictures of a cartoon sperm drawing wearing a top hat holding a rose any day.

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Thirsty?

Posted 22nd Jul 2008
Filed under: Fashion

Tell me you didn't bite into your watermelon flavoured Lip Smacker at least once as a kid? Now I find out there's 7-Up and something that looks like a Fanta equivalent tasting Lip Smackers! Pretty sure I'm never eating real food again. Yeah the thought of Dr Pepper on my lips freaks me out slightly, but that's only because in primary school people told me it was made out of medicine (they were probably confused by the "Dr" in the title). Cheers!

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Smells like a Chanel contract

Posted 30th Apr 2008
Filed under: Fashion

If Internet buzz is anything to go by, Frances Bean Cobain could be the next face of Chanel. Karl Lagerfeld reportedly has his eye on 15-year-old Frances Bean, the daughter of grunge god Kurt Cobain and the kinda scary Courtney Love. He would like to use her in future marketing campaigns for the Parisian fashion house. Apparently Courtney Love is “concerned about Frances pursuing a catwalk career” when she hasn’t even hit sweet sixteen yet. But if her mother’s behaviour is anything to go by, Love should just be happy her daughter isn’t snorting crack cocaine off toilet seats and is interested in something other than injecting truckloads of collagen into her own lips.

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5am in Warrensburg, Missouri

Posted 23rd Apr 2008
Filed under: Photography

Ever since ’99 when I stopped wearing my Baby G watch that stored all my Grade 6 pals phone numbers in it I just haven’t had the same affinity with time… until now. The Human Clock is a website that shows you a photo of the current time, updating every minute of the day. People from all over the world send in photos that represent a certain time, whether they are making the numbers with their bodies, friends bodies or pineapple pieces, mustard and carrots. It’s whole lot less annoying than a cuckoo clock or speaking clock, plus you can contribute to it yourself! Besides, analogue clocks are so seventeenth century.

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