A Guide To Hand Gestures
Hand gestures are pretty much older than dirt, dad jokes and Dick Van Dyke put together. Biologists reckon gesture predates speech and over the years it has evolved to the point where we can mimic texting with twitching thumbs. Ain’t progress grand. Expressing everything from a bit of the ol’ in-out-in-out to insults, approval, greetings and geeky in-jokes, here are a few of our five-fingered faves.
Middle Finger
There’s nothing quite as satisfying as flipping the bird to a jerk who cuts you off on the highway, under the table on a bad date or as your default greeting to friends, family and work superiors alike. The phrase “flipping the bird” as code for the naughty finger came about in the 1960s, but who knew you were actually indulging in an ancient expression of contempt dating back at least 2,500 years? Even better, it’s a penis joke. Back in the fourth century, Greek philosopher Diogenes flipped off the orator Demosthenes in a phallic spot of feedback and d*ck joke disrespect. The ancient Romans called it “digitus impudicus”, or the impudent finger, and Emperor Caligula made senators kneel to kiss his, although this barely merits a mention in the list of his bad behaviour. His other favourite pastimes are rumoured to have included incest, adultery and killing people for his own amusement. Nice.
Thumbs Up
Generally the special symbol for hitchhiking, Facebook likes and tacit approval from Arthur Fonzarelli, giving someone the thumbs up rates highly in the rankings of recognisable hand gestures. Unfortunately, it can have a rather different meaning from what you intended depending on your GPS coordinates. In Western countries, it generally means “Good job” and “Can I hitch a lift without us reenacting Wolf Creek?”. In Iran, Afghanistan, Greece and a handful of other locales, it’s the equivalent of the middle finger and could land you in a world of hurt. The only way to salvage the situation may be to shout, “1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war” or better still make like a bread truck and haul buns. Gladiators in Roman arenas had even more cause for concern when the audience pulled a Fonz impression from the bleachers, thereby voting for their deaths. Tough
crowd, indeed.
Vulcan Salute
A nifty shorthand for jocks confused about who to beat up in the schoolyard, the V-shaped gesture is popular with Star Trek fans and allied nerds of various persuasions. Spock, the alien on the show sporting a stronger eyebrow game than Cara Delevingne, cracks out the Vulcan salute along with the “live long and prosper” greeting at the slightest provocation. Apparently Leonard Nimoy, who played the pointy-eared perfectionist in the original 1960s series, thought the Vulcan race needed a signature move and borrowed the hand signal from his Orthodox Jewish heritage. During High Holiday services, Jewish priests bless those in attendance by doing a double palm-down Vulcan salute over the crowd. Nimoy used one hand, pointed the gesture at the sky and co-opted the blessing into an iconic pop culture symbol. The rest is Hebrew history. Although the symbol looks pretty easy-peasy, not everyone can master the manoeuvre. Reportedly Zachary Quinto, who has taken up the Spock mantle in recent films, is so terminally unco at it he took to practising by rearranging his fingers with a rubber band while driving and when that failed, eventually glued them together.
Handshake
A waking nightmare for germaphobes and otherwise harmless custom practised in business, sports competitions and on formally meeting people when sniffing each other’s butts just won’t do, handshaking is a sign of politeness and respect. The motion is thought to have developed to demonstrate neither person is holding a weapon for a meeting on equal terms. Sounds all nice and cosy, but not everyone’s a fan. Famous conscientious objectors to mashing palms include Donald Trump, American Deal Or No Deal host Howie Mandel and George Washington, and there is some science to back them up. Sick of using formulas for inconsequential junk like sending astronauts to the moon and mapping DNA, in 2010 scientists at the University of Manchester decided to knock out a mathematical equation for the perfect handshake. The formula takes 12 variables into account, including hand temperature, eye contact and vigour. Cheers, science. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Clapping
Scholars aren’t quite sure how far back humans first clapped eyes on the idea of clapping hands, but are practically unanimous in declaring it’s “pretty old”. Back in the times of the Roman Empire, Heraclius was planning to meet with a barbarian king and decided his weakened army needed to hire a rent-a-crowd of clap-happy chappies to help intimidate his opponent. It didn’t work, proving a group of people high-fiving themselves is never as scary as one would hope. Applause was rather good, however, as an ancient type of poll or voting system only slightly more primitive than the 2016 Aussie census. It was pretty much the pre-social-media equivalent of follows, likes and shares or an analog way of giving mad props to performers and political leaders for a job well done.
Peace Sign
Popular since World War II, the peace sign was used by Churchill as a “V for victory”, becoming known on the home front as a symbol for the battle against evil. Meanwhile in the US, African Americans upgraded it to a double V to call for the conquering of racism at home. Later, the hippies took an occasional break from their rigorous schedule of smoking pot and smelling bad to protest the Vietnam War by flashing their fingers in the formation. Surely the sign’s most vital function over the years, however, has been to put rabbit ears on people in photos. Things can turn ugly if you flash the V sign with your palm facing in, as you’ll be giving the “two-fingered salute” to peeps in Commonwealth countries, encouraging them to crack a teacup over your skull or give you a damn good thrashing with their umbrella in a violent fit of passion. You’ve been warned.
