Hit The Refresh Button On Your Life And Visit Tasmania’s Maria Island
There’s no doubt about it, Tasmania is currently kicking the rest of Australia right in the goolies. After being looked down upon for years by sneering mainlanders, Tassie is now smugly flipping the bird to the folk up north and revelling in its own awesomeness. Home to boundary-smashing art galleries, a bunch of festivals punters salivate at the thought of and some of the most outrageously beautiful landscapes in the world, the land of whisky, cheese and all things delicious is currently crushing it. Despite this, cheeky Tassie has yet another ace up its sleeve. Only a short boat ride from the east coast, there is a mountainous island known not for what is has, but what it doesn’t have. Maria Island has no permanent human population, nor any restaurants, bars, boutiques or band rooms to speak of. Yet despite this, Maria Island could just be one of the greatest places in the world.
The Greatest Show on Earth
With no highways, traffic lights, roads or public transport to speak of, the best way to experience Maria Island is by Shanks’s Pony (also known as your feet). The four-day Maria Island Walk takes you on a slow motion journey through landscapes that seem too perfect to be real, but are in fact, very, very real. For if there’s one thing that Maria Island excels at, it’s keepin’ it real. With some of the freshest air in the world pumping through your lungs, each day is spent wandering along beaches, littered with tons of shells so perfect you’d think a potter made them from clay, scrambling on golden, honeycomb cliffs and climbing mountains that reward sweat and shaky legs with to-die-for views. Disclaimer: while beautiful, the views are probably not worth trading your life for.
Animalia
Commonly referred to as Australia’s Noah’s Ark, Maria Island has more wildlife than you can poke a stick at (but please don’t poke sticks at them). With wombats galore, birdlife aplenty, snakes in supply (gulp!) and a small population of devilishly handsome Tasmanian Devils, Maria Island is totally wild. While out walking it pays to watch where you place your tootsies as tiger snakes are commonly seen sunning themselves around these parts and they aren’t afraid to engage with clumsy strangers stumbling into their space (been there, done that and have the grey hairs to show for it). There are also rare Cape Barren geese, echidnas, rosellas, wallabies, roos and even albatrosses up above blocking the sunlight with their ridiculous, supersized wingspan. It’s all so overwhelming that visitors are usually torn between furiously grabbing their camera to snap the spectacle and standing with their mouth agape in wonder. The latter choice seems to be the default mode of most and it’s quite glorious to be able to stand still with your head turned upwards to watch a flock of birds swoop and dive up above (try doing that in the city and not getting mowed down by hordes of humans on the march).
Prescription Diet
While on Maria Island, you come to realise that walking in nature all day (except for all-important snack breaks) is like a magic tonic for the soul – it should be prescribed by doctors, recommended by the World Health Organisation and included in the constitution. You know what else is good for the soul? Spending the night at a custom-built eco-camp stuffing yourself with Tasmanian wine, cheese, beer and seafood, of course, making the most of the local ingredients. With such an amazing spread on offer each night, the only conclusion that one can sensibly come to is that the guides are engaging in some pretty high level sorcery in order to produce gourmet offerings like this from a basic bush kitchen. While the guides are performing kitchen wizardry, there’s nothing else to do but shoot the breeze with fellow walkers while downing chunks of King Island Dairy Triple Cream Brie.
Traces of Life
Over the centuries, a fair few people had a crack at settling on Maria Island, but while considered a paradise now, back in the day living on Maria Island was nothing but a whole lot of hard yakka. A ramshackle bunch of convicts, settlers and agricultural entrepreneurs once called Maria Island home, including an Italian immigrant keen on establishing vineyards and a trailblazing couple that gave farming a good shake. While the Maria Island residents are all long gone, remnants of their existence can be found all over the island. From little shacks with walls covered with ancient newspaper headlines, to sheds filled with rusty tools and modest homesteads full of curiosities from the past, wandering around feels like you’re trespassing even though the residents are – in the words of bluesman Lightnin’ Hopkins – “long gone like a turkey through the corn”.
Return to Oz
Departing Maria Island is the hardest part of the journey. After a few days, frolicking on fields covered with grazing wombats seems like the new normal, and things like billboards, carparks and infomercials seem terribly foreign, ugly and unnecessary. Returning to mainland Tasmania by boat, Mother Nature turns on a cracking day just to give us one last kick in the guts as we return to our nature-starved city lives. The sea sparkles, the sun shines, and the sky just hangs there in effortless, blue perfection. And in the distance sits humble Maria Island, completely oblivious to the fact that she’s probably the prettiest place on earth.
